Wrestling Restlessness

I had believed that reintroducing bootcamp into my life that my sleep maintenance insomnia would go away. Although at first I believed it did, but as of this past week I've been waking up throughout the night.

My trip back to New Jersey I had been hoping for is not going going to happen because I needed new tires. All 4, because my one tire had a screw AND a nail in it and couldn't be repaired. Sucks..I really wanted to go home. It's been so long..I feel like my actual friends and family are out there. Not here, especially not after all the bullshit I've been put through with these weirdos.

So..I was supposed to Apply for the mortuary science program this fall but I missed the deadline for the vaccines.  Because we will be handling dead bodies we must be re immunized before enrolling in the program and they are very particular as to when you get vaccinated.

I'm starting to get that itch again...that "need something new" itch. I don't think hair color is going to do it..not a new piercing..I'm not sure what but something it hasn't fully surfaced yet.  We'll see when the time comes.

Last week was a mess. Hormones all over the place. I heard a song driving home from bootcamp and started crying. (The song was "Words I Never Said" by Lupe Fiasco.)

I've been feeling in a bit of a rut lately but hopefully that'll go away soon it doesn't help with my weight fluctuating nothing seems to fit properly almost everything is too big or just fits weird. 

I don't know if it's me being extra picky or what, but guys have just not been saying the right things to me or super duper irritating me lately. I told this guy who's interested in me that I have a profile on a "dating" website he called me a tease. I felt really offended. He said if you don't intend on dating anyone you shouldn't be on there. I explained to him that it clearly states my intent on the site is NEW FRIENDS. And at first I was like oh whatever I'll talk to him casually but now I just feel like NAH.