Flames

In the darkness there is nothing left but the glow of embers
Embers that once were a blazing fire
a fire that engulfed everything with crackling roar
the burn of the fire
burn.
her wings were meant to burn
red, gold, yellow, orange,
fiery inferno
to live is to die
I am the phoenix

tbc...

Memento

This memento is not to dwell on the past but rather to bring forth optimism and a new sense of direction

My Libertine Supreme

My libertine supreme
that's what you are.
And with my love comes my anguish and my grief.
And with my pain comes my hope and my faith.
What good is this?
You'd given me the power to find my wings.
Now you're ripping out the feathers.
Grounding me. Grappling me.
This heart is so big I just want love and to be loved.
Screaming as you pluck them one by one or often times by the tuft.
As you sing aloud "GLORY GLORY HALLELUJAH!"
His truth is marching on.......me that is.

The Taste

It is with grave fear that I find myself here..
I need to know that you aren't the monster the world wants to make you out to be
please for the sake of my own fragile heart I must know.
you disguise yourself so well and your touch is ever so sweet
your words do melt like butter upon my soul
PLEASE
do spare me this poisonous rapture
the venom is so sweet
so bitter sweet
how I'd long to tame such a beast
I didn't dare see what was happening before my eyes
blindfolded and cuffed
I could only taste it.
And now tis I that craves it.
But you...
you enjoy watching me squirm,
watching my body writhe in horror of what I've allowed.
I could scream but what is the use
The pain is pleasure
the torture is ease..
my appetite is insatiable
you deprive me
it makes me want more.
I want to escape.
Or do I.

December 4th

I'm laying here feeling somewhat foolish...
I feel like I want so much...
maybe I want too much.
But I feel like I'm in this alone.
The emptiness is not me it was you.
I want to feel feeling from you.
Not the kind that she envokes either.
I want to feel strong passionate love.
I have it in me to give all of myself
but I would want that in return
and I wouldn't give that to anyone else but you.
That's how I feel it should be...
selfish maybe.

December 3rd

I wanted to know how to love.

I have learned from being involved with you.

I can be patient, caring, helpful, understanding, loyal, 

sweet, thoughtful, considerate, appreciative, giving and much more.

I am a blessed individual and capable of many things. 

It is a great feeling knowing that I do know how to love...

I just need to find the right person who will embrace me and shine with me.

That's motivated towards a common goal. 

I just wanted it to be you.

Because through you I have found all of this within me. 

It just pains me that I can't feel that same love from you. 

November 26th

Let me know if this task is too great...so that I may behave accordingly.
I realize that you value me but not enough to be the difference.
I've given so much of myself and seen a side of me and potential in me that's been realtively unheard of...
this is part of why I hold on.
I've been so patient.
Understanding.
Caring.
I've shown you the love I would want for myself.
I need you to trust and have faith in me.
Let me love you.
Let me show you.
Give yourself the opportunity.
I'm more than just an option.
I'm more than just a safety net.
I want more for us...together.

I never thought that I'd be here feeling the way that I do about you.
I want to lift you up.
I want to bring you strength.
I want you to know that there is light in the darkness.
That through the struggle I'm here with you.