In Vein

Kind of annoyed I had a whole bunch of stuff written out and it didn't save but I guess it was meant to be.
After some thinking I feel rather in between about a particular situation.
Not sure how I really want to pursue it, if that.

Part of me is going numb and then part of me is all feeling some stupid type of way.
I really wish things could be exactly how I want/would like them to be.
Of course that's wishful thinking.

I want those peaceful moments with you
where we just sit in silence
the world is filled with so much noise
I rather sit speechless with you
near you, next to you
I want to wake up next to you
I want to just be there with you
I want to be able to be closer to you

Such wishful thinking
Such wistful thoughts
Such silliness

Longview

"Do you have the time, to listen to me whine, about nothing and everything all at once?"

Anyways it was a long weekend. Almost seemed too long.  I spent Sunday recovering from the repercussions of Saturday night.  What a piss poor mood I had been in.  What a piss poor mood I am still in. A moody moody mess. Why? Because I realized that my gut instinct will always be correct.  Why is it we ever doubt ourselves? Truly?  I knew better.  I continue to know better yet make the same piss poor sorry mistakes.  Oh how gravely mistaken one can be.
One of my close friends told me not to go off the deep end with my emotions as in he told me not to allow myself to get in the mood I am already in.  It was too late.
I already decided this was going to be my course of action.
I had already decided I didn't want to fuck with anyone.
I had already decided I wanted my alone time.
I had decided to mope.
I had decided to be angry.
I had decided to pretend not to be affected.
I had already decided.
I still went out Saturday knowing it would not make a difference.
I went out knowing my mood was vengeful, indifferent, reckless.
Yet I went out with no expectations of anything good, fruitful, or positively mood changing
Maybe I brought it on myself
Who knows it's obviously too late to care.
I'm sick of all these things again.
I'm sick of all these people again.
I'm sick of all the same piss poor sorry ass excuses, lies, and erratic behavior
I'm out of suggestions
I'm out of resources
I'm out...

Everything I need

Starting to feel almost completely back to my normal state. I've managed to shake everyone who's attempted to get near me. I'm comfortable again. Peaceful. Wide awake at the moment but all in all I'm suffice with all that I have emotionally which is bare minimum and it's everything I need. Nothing to think about.