Durango

Took a trip down to Durango today.  All the babies crying, people waiting, long ass line..
can't wear earrings, can't wear hoodies, coats, jackets, one key allowed with you..no hands under the table, no touching, no holding children, don't cross the divider.
Rule, after rule, after rule, after rule...sheesh...
This was my first time ever visiting someone in jail. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I can't be cruel. I wanted to go, to say look at what you've gotten yourself into now.  Okay, so I know I am not any ones Savior but I will always be a friend. At least to this dumb dumb I can say I will always be a friend. I've said it before and I do believe it. The HATE isn't in my heart, disappointment...VERY VERY much so. The pain? Absolutely. The dark places I have been? Indeed nothing is going to replace those feelings.

The wait time was super long and the visit its self was super short. I'm still undecided about the situation and what kind of advice I can give to him but at least he knows I'm here. Not on some Sucka shit so let's not get things twisted.  But I would HATE to be that fucked up of a person to just sit back and do NOTHING. How would you feel if it were you? and you had no one else...and no one there for you..feeling alone and being alone. Sure, he left me that way but that's just not me to be that person. And like I always have said it's just karma. As I will get to telling him once again because I think he needs to be reminded that He and I are not ever going to work out because he just doesn't know or understand my wants or needs.  It is just that simple and I will not force any ones hand. If it's not going to work it simply isn't going to work. I did everything and I refuse to put effort into THAT aspect ever again. Friends at best/most and that's where I'm leaving it. He needs to learn/want to help himself before moving forward in life point blank period.

I feel so stressed out. I know I'm putting it myself through it because of my feelings/heart. I don't know who hasn't been there. I just keep thinking about how I would want to be treated if it were me regardless of whatever.

This is my heart, this is who I am. This is why he can't talk shit to me or about me to anyone. I haven't done anything but be supportive which in the end will always help me and the same reason why HE has no choice but to listen to me and hear me out. Because I have always been a friend. I have always been to him the greatest person anyone could ever ask for and he's going to seriously regret that deeply.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnBCZ8shp40