Somebody That I used to Know

So yesterday Gotye-Somebody That I Used to Know came on Pandora and I start singing along and out of no where I get the chills and start crying..BLAH!

To be honest I think "this" maybe just maybe has finally reached its end...I can't be certain but It's just a hunch...If it is I have some minor requests but if they can't be met so be it. I've taken plenty of losses thus far anything else can be written off.

I have that feeling...that feeling...I can't quite put my finger on...

Suppose it's cause I've backed myself into the corner of a very small room..alone..alone...alone..alone.

Time to do a brain dump:
And it hurts late at night in the darkness when I'm left to my thoughts..and I wake up too often..and I think and think some more. And I feel like running..and there's no one there to talk to better yet no one there to listen..cept I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself cause I have a hard time sorting them out and distinguishing feelings.  It's all so confusing. Wanting to cry but keeping myself from it. Because I've always inflicted some kind of pain on myself...whether it was physical to now allowing emotional turmoil.  And I can't just numb things as much as I would like to. It's something simmering beneath the surface. Something I don't let others go near.  Something I wouldn't dare let get past my blank expression. Something that keeps me from smiling.  I've got such bitterness consuming me at times.  How can I get it out? It's dark. It's ugly.  It's negative. I don't wanna do anything..watch tv..I don't want to talk to anyone with ulterior motives..I want to curl up in a ball under a blanket and squeeze my head with both hands. I haven't spoken to anyone all day and no one has made the effort to speak to me either...frustrated, mad, sad, lonely, whatever...fuck it