30 days

The depressed version of myself.
Broken. Lifeless.
30 days, somehow I have made it 30 days but I'm not happy.
I'm not happy to be here.
Recovery is a bitch and I feel alone.
I have reached out for help only to be pushed away, turned away,  ignored
Where do you go when you're in it feeling alone
I want to satisfy this need.
The addiction is comforting.
The addiction is my only friend.
I can let all else go.

Like a mountain shaped like a spike driven right through my chest. Arms flailing back with gravity.

Isolation. Isolation is my friend too isn't it.
Ugh it doesn't fucking matter.