[These are not literal one liners just things that I was thinking about that were amusing me while I couldn't sleep]
"Do you buy all of your exgirlfriends lube or just me"
"my next story will be about a people pleaser who hates people"
"laying awake at night thinking about all the shit that hurts saying..if this is what getting old feels like I'm fucked"
"so going to the chiropractor and telling him my ass is tight is a bad idea?"
"does this statement relate back to the first o_O"
"I can't sleep cause the room is spinning still when I close my eyes and I'm craving potato salad. I won't be that jerk who says with a whiney voice 'I'm never drinking again" no instead I'll say "I'm not drinking another bottle by myself in a while..' Yeah..that sounds good"
"dingbats"
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