Afloat

I always thought I was swimming but all in all I guess I was merely floating.
Just above the water not truly part of the deep.

Something I've been meaning or maybe needing to address.

Part I:
March 4th: "Cause to me your imperfections were perfect for me
I'd take care of you in every way possible..
No matter what you always cross my mind even when I'm occupied
you were so good in your character that it made that impression.
Look to me you have an amazing caring heart.
As long as you're that open caring person I met, then other experiences that may have changed you perspective is still worth having you"

April 2nd:
"To me I'd pay for your flight to come back, do what I'd have to to make sure you're good
But that's my thought, my extent that I'll go whether you're broken or not
you're worth far more than just a mere enjoyment for a period of time.."

"Well know that you have some one here that promises to never let you down. And I've never gone back on my promises Just know that my goal would be to keep you for as long as I live"

these conversations went on beyond that but it's like...wow
I appreciate that so much but...
I'm so broken down and empty inside

Part II:
I've been thinking a lot lately about what I can do and if I should do anything about being depressed.
It's been a seemingly never ending struggle since middle school up until 2007 when it got out of control and I overdosed. Then I got it under control. On my own. Lately it's not so much "depression" or whatever you want to call it (not like it was before) but it just feels like the life is being sucked out of my body all I want to do is sleep and stay away from everyone/most people. Not to mention I'm mad/angry/easily irritated all the time.

I have to figure out what I'm going to do about it, for now I need to sleep