Progress

Feels like progress. As much slacking as I "kind of" have been doing, it feels like progress.
Things are back in full swing. Bootcamp as much as possible (as hard as possible..as heavy as possible.) SCHOOL..school..school..school..school..school..school..school.  And work which has been the same just about 57 hours a week for the last 3 years.  Going with no breaks..just going. No matter how tired I am, no matter if I'm sick, no matter pretty much anything. Just going.  Outside of that? I don't want much outside of that at the moment. I want any free time I have to relax because I don't really have much free time at all. I'd like to spend most of it sleeping. I would say all but that doesn't always happen. Post birthday I plan on staying home and resting if I'm not at school or working or at the gym. I want results. I am determined to make the progress I wish to make.  I don't really care so much that my parents and other people arent enthused about my fitness/weight loss goals. I recently realized that some people will never be satisfied with you physically. You must strive to please yourself and yourself only. It is YOUR body. Take former video vixen Vida Guerra..absolutely stunning, hott, gorgeous woman..she became a fitness model and now she's all about fitness. I followed her on instagram and liked her page on facebook recently to see that she endures so much criticism about her body. WHAT THE HELL. People actually complain because she's "lost her booty." It's INSANE! She looks phenomenal. And it kinda reminds me of a lot of the ish I've been hearing lately due to my own endeavors. And don't get me wrong I'm no Vida, but if even someone as beautiful as she is criticized then it only makes sense that people are going to talk crap to me. I don't know if I said that right...but yall out there know what I mean.  I know what I mean.  I'm happy thus far with my PROGRESS. Anyone who doesn't like it can kiss my ever so shrinking ass. HAHA.

I woke up to a few messages from B last night but I was asleep so oh well with that.
For a while I had debating telling one of my friends something (that is now in the past) for some odd reason I felt like mentioning it. I had asked a different friend a while ago about it and they told me I shouldn't bother but I decided to yesterday. Felt better for that too. You know how it is when you have that compelling feeling and you're just biting your tongue and it's all forced and you want to just blurt it but you don't. Better now that it's all in the past anyways cause it doesn't/didn't matter now anyways. Look at me rambling! I'll leave this one alone..

What I do know is that I'm sore and my head has been hurting off and on today. BLEH. I just want to lay in my bed and listen to The Weeknd.