Partial Horoscope for Virgo

The month of July for Virgo:

Love:

Have you truly left the past behind you? You’ll find out when your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde (backward) from July 14-August 8. Mercury is retrograde in Leo, your twelfth house of endings. This could recycle an old drama, open an old emotional wound or bring a shady-but-sexy type back into your orbit. While this person may profess to have turned over a new leaf, actions speak louder than words. If Casanova’s stories still don’t add up, hold back your hormones. This ride is not worth the price of admission—which can be quite a staggering fee for a sensitive soul like yours, Virgo. Stay off the tantric Tilt-a-Whirl, or you’ll end up with vertigo.

This becomes all the more pressing when unstable Uranus goes retrograde in Aries, your intimate eighth house, from July 13-December 13. Your attraction to the intrigue, danger and drama intensifies. You may also become jealous, suspicious and possessive—explosively so at times. Examine your motives, Virgo. Uranus is locked in a three-way battle (known as a T-square) with hot-blooded Mars and shadowy Pluto during the second half of July. With Pluto in your home and family sector, you could be unconsciously acting out some mommy and daddy issues, restaging a toxic parent-child dynamic that might better be examined on a therapist’s couch. You might be craving attention, but courting it through negative channels is not the way to get it. If you feel like that’s the only way you can get a response out of your mate, perhaps your Sleeping Beauty needs to be roused with a more direct wakeup call.

HEALTH: MIND, BODY & SOUL:

Let’s face it, Virgo: asking for support is your worst nightmare. You’re famous for giving people a tight, saccharine smile and saying, “I’m fine,” when everyone knows you’re not. In July, especially the second half, that ruse will fall apart. And you know what? That might be a blessing in disguise.

Mid-month, Mercury and Uranus both go retrograde (backward) in deeply emotional parts of your chart. You may not even realize how much you’ve been keeping inside, but it will all bubble up now—or maybe erupt like hot lava. Uranus is retrograde in your intimate eighth house until December 13, so you might want to book some sessions with a therapist or coach for the rest of the year. Having an objective person to help you talk through your feelings will be a great help, and it will also keep you focused on your bigger goals. This could be such a successful cycle for you—there’s no sense in getting derailed by problems that can be solved by a good support system.

When it rains it pours

7/9
Back to "Thinkin bout you" by Frank Ocean. Seems like sometimes I can't get enough of this song. I say "this song" because yes I am listening to it right now as I type here at work.

So last night I was feeling like someone was trying to get in my head. At this point I rather not name names..if you're anyone who means anything to me then you'll know cause I'll be explaining this to you in further detail or maybe only to an extent but you'll hear about it from me. Ha look at me rambling my words.

Anyways back to the subject.  Do you ever feel like the certain actions of people are deliberate and somewhat manipulative? Well of course, because isn't that the inherent nature of man? My curiosity wonders about such things. And then isn't it scary when you might have something subconsciously on your mind that you don't realize until someone else brings it to your attention. I really kinda felt taken aback by being told something was on my mind before I even realized that there really was something lingering around in the back of my head. Aside from that I didn't think anything was on my mind. But then what Star said to me on Saturday night might or might not be true I'd hate to admit it if it was. Don't tell me how I feel, I don't always appreciate that..not sure if I ever appreciate that actually.

Nostalgia

7/6
So "Novacane" came on my pandora on the way home from the gym and I was instantly reminded of what once was and how he was fond of that song. I kinda had to shake that shit off.  That's some negative tryna bring me down bull na na I don't need in my head, which is why I've had to change up what I've been listening to on pandora as it is. The station I have become oh so fond of, The Weeknd. As much as I really do love The Weeknd those songs and the others that play on that station will drive me to tears haha.

Anyways I've changed up the nails..something a lil exotic..the print is called space cadet
http://goodgirlscookandwearmakeup.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/photo-4.jpg

7/7
So last night I had a dream I remember being in a tall building with lots of windows and that Keesha n B were there at some point and I can't remember if she had done it but I was all cut up. I don't remember too much of it now.

Feeling a tad bit of like letting my inner wild child run free..but how :/
I kinda want to get out and get into something or be loud and act out get into some trouble..(well not real trouble but you know what I mean)

I feel like getting a new piercing or even a tat (not so much cause I know how my mom would feel about that..) anyways I'm craving some new something..like I've got some expendable energy and I'm bored.

I'm wondering what I can get pierced now.. especially considering how sensitive I am to metals...hmm hmm

I've also really wanting to dye my hair like fire engine red or lighten it up from how dark it is right now. I've tried dying it red a few times and it just comes out the same blah brown..ugh..

Anyways time to get this day a rollin hopefully I can get through it with a smile on my face and not let the whining customers get too much on my nerves. Wish me Luck!

Another Day

Interesting weekend..

So last winter I was at work and was approached by a guy and at the time I was in a relationship (with B) and had told him so. I did think he was attractive but I let him go. So this weekend we had people selling sports memorabilia and a few former athletes signing autographs..one of them was the guy.  At the time I first met him I had no idea he played in the NFL.  I found it coincidence because it was convenient that I had rid myself of stupid..anyways I did go talk to him (the fb player) and asked him if he remembered me and he said of course and gave me his number and we started texting from there.  Sooner than later I found out what he was really after. Kinda astonished because my rationale is..okay, you are a professional athlete, you have practically whatever you want and I'm pretty sure you're used to women throwing panties at you.  That being said you would think they wouldn't want to be so Hoe-ish.  Oddly enough they are the most extreme of hoes -___- so sad and pathetic. He really was trying to get me to go "have some fun" with him on Saturday and then was asking me to take a break and come out to his car with him. (of course I said no both times) It really takes away all attractiveness. ICK!

One of B's sisters moved back to AZ with her boyfriend and I saw her in the mall over the weekend. It was nice because as fake as she kinda is at times she appeared genuinely happy to see me..it was sweet. She said nobody talks to her brother anymore everyone pretty much cut him off.  He used to complain to me that his family didn't ever really have his back but he was wrong. Everyone did things for him and went out of their way for him just one too many times. Like I myself did as well. You can't keep shoving everyone in the dirt and taking people for granted. Eventually people get sick of it, or snap out of it, or just simply can't do it anymore. There are some who never realize. And like my book says about people always having some form of justification for themselves no matter how wrong they really are...it's pretty true.

I went and played pool with Star last night, we hadn't done that in a while so it was nice.
I missed bootcamp this morning but I want to do a double tomorrow and it says the evening class is full so I'm going to keep checking to see if an open space pops up. It probably wont but eh. The no two a days this week. I really want to focus on eating right along with my exercise. It makes no sense to be working so hard in the gym if I'm not going to eat as well as possible. I'll get 100% back to feeling great and not so sluggish throughout the day.  

I'll be fine

So...everything is going to be okay.

Apparently B and his ol girl got back together after she went on a lil rampage of disliking and making comments on really old stuff from when he and I were together. I decided to not react in an immature manner towards either of them. I decided to delete everything...maybe all those times I tried to let go but gave back in was partially because I had held on to everything. So now all the pictures are gone...the thousands of texts..everything.
I was pretty irritated..let him need anything ever..he better know exactly who to go to and it isn't me.  Talk about an obvious wake up call. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING? WHY HAVE I BEEN NEGLECTING MYSELF?

Pray for me.

Smile

Truth of the matter is..was there any truth in that matter? As a matter of fact.  Fact or fiction it was abominable behavior at that.

Sooooo...been feeling mighty clever lately. One liners here and there (not literally one liners but what the hell I'll call it that if I please)

Here's one..
Love can make you do crazy things...Sorry, I'm not a fan of straight-jackets #Idontloveyou

and another...
You say you don't give a fuck..but I heard you was giving the fucks

On to other things...I was in the shower yesterday and realized, well not realized but remembered better yet...
The fuck are you settling for? A lame, manipulating, criminal, sociopath fool? Really? Come on now.
You are incredibly better than that.

I'm very much enjoying my life without anyone of the opposite sex disturbing my flow...better yet was it comes and goes. I'm feeling like I'm about to just blow everyone off. Why? Because my irritation with certain things is starting to get kind of ridiculous and quite frankly is unnecessary.

As far as B is concerned. I'm off him and his shit.  See what he would have to say if I told him that I'm so much better than he is as a person and don't deserve any of his shit, her shit, OR anyone's shit for that matter. That shit better be gold if you want me to give a shit. Haha. Don't come to me when you want something.

I feel like putting on my sunglasses..Blowing kisses..Dusting off my shoulders..and saying DON'T TALK TO ME..all with a casual smile on my face. Haha.

My sarcasm sometimes really can get the best of me. BUT IT'S SO FUNNY! And my friends that know everything there are about two of them I talk to regularly. One out here in the Desert and one back east in the dirty...They know..they know..they know..they know...they know..they know..THAT THE REAL IS ON THE RISE...(you know how the rest goes)

Hmmm...smiles all around how bout it? It's better than being upset, or crying..it beats that any day..kinda makes me wanna walk around with my head up WAAAAAY to high like "HMPH!" Know what that feels like?

That's exactly my feeling. I'm so tired of bitch men..I'm just saying.

Stronghold

Feels like I'm losing myself But I wish I could disappear though...feeling so disconnected with everything and everyone..can I get someone to help me feel grounded...to help me. To better me..to lighten my mood..lift my spirits..show me their heart. I've found myself misplaced and displaced. But sheesh I'm not ready, unless it'd be enough to make me forget about everything else..I fear I'm not ready. Actually in all honesty I don't know.

 A few days ago I was thinking up a bunch of random "what love is.." things and I don't remember them all but here are just a few. What is love anyways? Is it that person you don't go a day without thinking about..is that what love is? Is it someone who would die for you..is that what love is?..is it spending all your money on someone..is that what love is?..is it working through hardships.. is that what love is?..is it letting someone hurt you repeatedly.. is that what love is?..is it the person you have sex with.. is that what love is?..is it your motivation.. is that what love is?..is it taking advantage of someone.. is that what love is?..is it trusting someone..is that what love is..?

Anyways those were just my thoughts from yesterday as I had a really odd day as far as mood goes...I woke up in a terrible mood also. Vicious...dangerous..wanting to just say fuck everyone and everything and don't talk to me or better yet that no one does and probably because I make it a point to push everyone away (mostly)

I'm mad at myself for letting myself get such a damn stronghold on one person...